Class of 2059 Disappointed By “Ugly” and “Dated” Gates Hall

ITHACA-X7, NY –  Bright eyed freshmen teeming around campus this August  seem to share a similar complaint: Gates hall has got to go. The building, erected in 2014, was once a modern marvel created with a cutting-edge glass, a modern foundation and an innovative solar powered array. Today, the building sits unused and  has been described as an “ancient eyesore,”  “a heaping pile of junk” and “just plain old.”

Freshman Matt Haka told Nooz that “the building lacks the charm of other older buildings on campus like Uris Hall” and was “devoid of modern amenities like voltran scales, geo-thermal heating and aupkids tranmorphers.” Haka exclaimed, “Great Ford, c’mon, there’s not even a hover parking lot.”

President Cyborg Skorton told CU Nooz that the antiquated building “was here to stay” and that there were no plans of taking the building down.

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