Cornell Announces New 3D Net-Print Program

ITHACA, NY – Student Faculty Chair Thomas Andersen announced yesterday that Cornell plans to expand its Net-Print service to include 3D printing by the end of next year. The plans have already been met with both praise and skepticism. As of press time, the futuristic printing service would cost $90 per cubic foot.
“Cornell knows that we need to stay at the forefront of modern technology,” explained Andersen, “We can do so chiefly by provide the most up-to-date futuristic printing services and resources to the student body.”

Professors and students alike are already taking full advantage of this new service. Students are not only expected to write their essays, but are now also being challenged to produce their academic work in a shape that exemplifies its purpose. Writing an English paper? Maybe you would print it on a bust of Shakespeare’s head. What about an entomology report? Print that in the shape of a bug! A senior thesis in women’s studies? We’ll leave that one up to you.

The new 3D Net-Print account comes with the same three options as a normal Net-Print account. Students can choose to either preload their account with the thousands of dollars necessary, surprise their parents by billing it to the bursar, or they will be able to max out their Cornell Cards in order to cover the costs. The estimated time to print ten cubic inches of material is 3 hours.