ITHACA- Sources confirmed late Tuesday that Ithaca Mayor Svante Myrick’s desire for a snow day on Wednesday had in fact come to fruition. “I made a wish and it came true!” exclaimed the bright-eyed and simple mayor, dancing around the kitchen of his Collegetown apartment, dressed in inside-out and backwards pajamas. “Woo hoo! No school!…
ITHACA –Cornell University history professor Ralph Davis was reportedly bummed to cancel his 9AM lecture this morning on Napoleon’s attempted invasion of Russia. Davis, known on campus for being a young, cool professor, told officials he had written a rap song detailing the event, which took place in 1812 and proved the last defeat for Napoleon’s French army….
ITHACA, NY- Following the cancellation of all Cornell classes prior to 10 a.m. due to the snowstorm, Hurricane Sandy was reportedly pretty hurt that Cornell didn’t even cancel any classes for her. “At my peak, I was a Category 3 hurricane with sustained winds of up to 129 mph. 129 mph! But I guess that’s…
ITHACA WASTE LAND, NY -In a statement issued to the press from the dark corner of the Chapter House, David Skorton warned students to prepare themselves for the winter storm expected to continue through Thursday. Having initially called attention to himself through a sordid laugh, the President warned the Cornell community, “Storm’s coming. I hope…
ITHACA, NY -Cornell Univeristy’s French Studies department has received several citations from the city of Ithaca’s Fire Department for tampering with smoke detectors in Goldwin Smith Hall. During a routine fire inspection, several alarms were found with plastic bags sealed over them while others were simply removed from their bases. Fire Department Chief Fred Ogilvy…
ITHACA, NY- An alert email has informed the Cornell community of a campuswide closure between 3am and 10am, in order to prevent students from travelling throughout campus during this time period. In a recent announcement, the administration justified their decision, stating, “Without this closing of campus, thousands of students might attempt to brave the elements…
