Student with 1.7 GPA Likes Group Projects for Inexplicable Reason

ITHACA, NY – Various sources from the Engineering Quad have noted that Jared Wasserman, a sophomore computer science major with a 1.7 GPA, prefers group projects over any other type of class evaluation, yet can’t put his finger on precisely why.

“You know, I just am not sure what it is. It might be the flexibility offered by group project requirements,” Wasserman noted. “But for some reason, when I’m paired up on projects with students that actually give a **** and attend class, I get better grades.”

Professors, as well, noted Wasserman’s stark improvement in group projects over exams. “It’s truly incredible,” said Prof. Smith of Computer Science. “Despite the fact that Jared left 80% of the CS 1110 prelim blank, when assigned to a project group with overachievers interning at Facebook this summer, he just performs spectacularly,” adding “I guess Jared’s just a real team player.”

Sources say that as Jared texts his friends to find weed tonight, his classmates will be pulling an all nighter to finish his final project.

Above: Jared’s group meets to go over a project outline. In a email sent 20 minutes into the meeting, Wasserman (not pictured) informed his group members that he “had a thing” and couldn’t make it.

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