ITHACA, NY – Last night, four residents of Donlon Hall received a JA due to their participation in some good old-fashioned fun. At 11:30 PM, the student’s residential advisor heard what sounded like a shindig, rumpus, or a jamboree coming from down the hall, and immediately contacted the CUPD. Police records confirm that upon arriving at the students’ dorm, the officers found that a jolly good time was being had by all, and the temperament was just plain swell. “This behavior is really just unacceptable. We absolutely do not condone underage drinking,” explained Ithaca police officer Michael Klowsky, who sure was a spoilsport that night, “These students were putting themselves and others at extreme risk and at that point intervention is key,” added the old fuddy-duddy. The judicial hearing for all four merrymaking perpetrators of fun is scheduled for next week, but for honest, it seems those fellas didn’t do nothin’.
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