How Your Tuition Increase Will Be Spent

University officials announced Monday that undergraduate tuition will increase by $1,920 beginning next year. CU Nooz provides the breakdown of exactly where that money will go on a per student basis.

$10: Tuition increase commemorative baseball caps
$15: Bronze statue of Touchdown the Big Red Bear counting money
$5: Upgrades to dorm laundry facilities so that they accept cash
$25: More hot food vending machines
$400: Thrown directly into garbage
$50: Funding for campus-wide program to uninstall electrical outlets, Wi-Fi routers
$675: Paint
$120: Hire employees to wait on Terrace salad line, make it appear longer
$1: Jet Ski for Computer Science Professor Daisy Fan
$155: Pinball machines
$15: Emergency supplementary funds to bring not only Matt but also Kim to Slope Day
$35: Processing Fee
$250: For investing in penny stocks
$4: Donation boxes
$60: On-campus Arby’s franchise
$100: More waterslides