Breaking: Cornell Alma Mater Now Stuck in Your Head

ITHACA- Reports indicate that since reading the headline of this article, “Far Above Cayuga’s Waters,” the Cornell alma mater, has been stuck in your head.

It is being noted that at this very moment, you are reciting the line “With its waves of blue” in your mind, while softly humming the tune out loud. Further reports show that by now, you’re trying to remember the words to the next line of the song, but are failing to do so and have moved on to the chorus.

Soon, experts are anticipating that you will need to put in your headphones and listen to a new song, just to get the school-spirit-filled anthem out of your skull. But now it’s too late, and instead of the alma mater, the “Mission Impossible” theme song has just been implanted into your subconscious.

Additional reports suggest that after reading this very sentence, you will be aware of your own breathing, the fact that you are blinking, and the position of your tongue in your mouth.


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