Gigantic Icicle Just Waiting for You

NORTH CAMPUS — The gigantic icicle just outside your dorm has been waiting there for the past few weeks. Gaining strength. Waiting just for you. For the perfect moment to strike.

“You have to stop worrying about that icicle,” warns your roommate, but you can’t stop thinking about its ominous presence outside your window. Its tiny water droplets, landing directly on your head, marking you. These are telltale signs that the frozen beast has chosen you as its next victim.

Your roommate seems unaware that the inclement cold weather can only contain the icicle for so long. Once it is free of its frigid chains and let loose on the world, you will personally bear witness to its lethal nature.

No one can tell exactly when the icicle will make its move. There is nothing to be done. Rest assured, the moment will come. Your moment. So be prepared.

At press time, the icicle knew the time was right.

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