“Where’s the Beach?” Asks Terribly Lost Ithaca Tourist

ITHACA — A horrendously lost man was seen wandering the streets of downtown Ithaca asking locals how to get to the nearest beach. The man was reportedly on vacation in Ithaca with his wife and two children, adamant about swimming in the ocean.

“Hey, can you show me where we can catch some waves?” asked the hopelessly lost father to passersby on the Commons. Local residents reportedly did not have to heart to tell him.

“I hope it’s not too crowded! The kids have never been in the Atlantic before. Ah, I miss that sweet ocean breeze!” added the disoriented traveler as he reapplied sunscreen.

At press time, the frustrated man was attempting to wakeboard on Beebe Lake after reassuring his children that they would “have fun anyway.”

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