Nooz Staff September 1, 2015

Spartan Race Obstacle Course to Feature Giving Up Early

McGOVERN FIELDS — As setup for this weekend’s Spartan College Classic obstacle course commences, organizers of the event have revealed one of the most challenging obstacles of the race will be the decision of whether or not to give up early and go home.

After ten minutes of crawling through mud, participants in the Spartan Challenge must drag a tire five hundred feet while a volunteer with a megaphone reminds them that they could leave at any point. Subsequently, at the two mile marker, racers will be greeted by a giant sign labeled “Why are you still doing this to yourself?”

“I’ve been training on my own for a while now,” reported student athlete Casey Rodriguez ’16. “I can scale a rock wall and run a fast three miles, but once I get to part where not exerting myself in the hot sun sounds tempting, I might get stuck.”

For those deciding not to give up, paramedics will be close by to aid racers who merely choose to fake an injury.

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