Friendless Man in Trillium Announces Plans to Sit Right Next to You

KENNEDY HALL — After failing to find any of his friends in the Trillium food court, Junior Biology Major Anthony Demsas announced plans to sit directly next to you today during lunch, despite the numerous available seats located at any other table.

“Do you mind if I sit here, right next to you?” asked Demsas, as he placed his food down, gently caressing the edge of your personal space.

Sources report that Demsas’ seating proposition went undeterred by your blatant desire to be left alone to study Chemistry, buried in the textbook that was only recently dragged aside to make room for this lonely individual’s asian food.

“Thanks again for letting me sit with you. I don’t know anyone in here, and you seem nice,” he promptly added between the boisterous slurps of his lo mein noodles.

At press time, your reluctance to acknowledge Demsas’ existence was interrupted by an unfortunate sneeze aimed precisely towards your salad.

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