September 23, 2015

Single AEM Major Just Wants Someone to Network With

WARREN HALL — After having recently gone through a tough breakup, AEM major and recent bachelor Kenneth Archer has stated that all he is looking for in life is someone special to network with.

“I don’t deal well with being lonely, and not having a partner in life that I can share business connections with is going to be tough,” said Archer, who, after the past year and a half long steady relationship with fellow management major Julie Edwards, felt that he had lost someone very valuable to his future career.

“I’m a little sad we had to break up,” commented Archer’s ex, “but if things were destined to work out with him, we would have had plenty more stock options by now than when we first started dating, and he would have committed to going IPO together. It wasn’t meant to be.”

Perhaps things will work out better after Archer graduates, when he will finally meet that perfect person with whom to start a family-owned nationwide retail company.

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