“Prepare Yourself” Scrawled in Blood on California Student’s Door

DONLON HALL — California freshman Julia Style got back from class earlier this snowy afternoon to find the phrase “Prepare Yourself” scrawled in blood on the door to her room.  The incident is one of many in a long line of omens sent to those from traditionally warm hometowns, warning them of the coming Ithaca winter.

“I just got back from Econ and there it was, fresh human blood painted on my door telling be to be prepared,” Styles said, adding that she thought she was prepared, she would probably go out and buy an extra set of gloves per the foreshadowing.

The episode is typical for the fall semester, warning freshman as much as possible how screwed they will be come winter time. Sophomore Jeff Smiles, a Floridian, reminisced, “I remember when I received a severed head on my desk when I was a freshman.  Good times.”

The Cornell University Police Department is investigating the cause of the violent warnings, and currently suspects the Ullr, Son of Sif, Norse god of the winter hunt.

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