May 4, 2016

“These Are Not the ID’s You’re Looking For,” Say Nerds at Moonies Entrance

THE COMMONS — Campus nerds Colleen Eiderman ’19 and Emily Mehta ’19, who forgot their fake ID’s at their apartment, attempted to use a Jedi Mind trick on the unsuspecting Moonies bouncer.

“These are not the ID’s you’re looking for,” said the inebriated Eiderman, as she waved her hand across the bouncer’s face and Mehta made a ‘swoosh’ sound. The bouncer, likely a higher-level Jedi himself, did not fall for the maneuver and promptly requested the two underage students to leave the premises.

“I for sure thought it would work,” said Eiderman, “Earlier today, I told my English professor, ‘You will give me an extension’ and he did. This bouncer knows the ways of the Force.”

Sources report the two geeks missed out on the opportunity for their first Fireball shots with Greedo.

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