MCGRAW HALL — Scientists have recently revealed that the GOVT 3082 lecture has a 15 percent chance of participation this semester, indicating an 85 percent chance that no one will ever speak up in a class.
The professor of this 8:40AM lecture said he expected this statistic, but he’s hopeful that the recent variation in the classroom environment will alter this trend. “It’s a little depressing, but the forecast could be wrong. It is Ithaca, after all.”
These results are indeed not infallible; the definition for student participation is seemingly lax. For example, the records show that some students believe that asking to return to the previous lecture slide counts as participation.
“These numbers seem about right to me,” said Harvey Morris, ’17. “I barely manage to come to lecture, let alone offer a relevant and intelligent remark or question in front of that many people.”
The professor plans on continuing to ask open-ended questions while walking up and down the aisles to test different elevations of the room, confident that someday his relatable, thought-provoking remarks will not be met with silence and stares.