Nooz Staff October 24, 2016

Campus Breathes Sigh of Relief as Football Team Loses Third Straight Game

ARTS QUAD – Members of the Cornell community breathed a collective sigh of relief as the varsity football team lost its third straight game, to Brown, following a 3-0 start to the season.

“It was tense there for a while, especially after that third win,” said Jake Gordon ’19, “but I knew the team would manage to pull through in the end.”

With Cornell leading 21-14 in the first overtime, Gordon could be seen shaking uncontrollably on the Arts Quad while following the game on his phone. After an 18-yard Brown touchdown pass, Gordon relaxed somewhat, even managing to shakily stand up, now confident that Cornell would lose.

Die-hard Red fan Julia Walters ’17 commented, “I’ve been following the team for four years now and never saw anything like the beginning of this season when we were winning. I’m just happy that it’s over.”

Walters will reportedly rest easy this week knowing that her beloved Big Red will likely lose to the 4-2 Princeton Tigers next Saturday.

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