Nooz Staff September 4, 2018

Student Awakens Yet Again to Re-Adjust Oscillating Fan

COLLEGETOWN—Drenched in sweat and in a state of utter defeat, Matthew Finley ‘20 awoke yet again last night to re-adjust his oscillating fan.

“See, I want it close to me, but then it can’t pull in the cool air from the window! What do I do?” cried a desperate Finley, shifting the fan an inch to the right and then leaping into bed to see if it helped.

The recent heat wave has become a major inconvenience for Finley and his roommates, whose overcrowded $1200/month Collegetown heatbox of an apartment seems to provide suboptimal locations for electric fans.

Finley’s pacing during the night added about 10 degrees to the room’s temperature. This morning, he was attempting to befriend freshmen who’ve scored the air conditioned dorms on North Campus.

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