Nooz Staff October 5, 2018

Freshman Can’t Wait to Tell Parents About New Friends She’ll Drop Before Thanksgiving

CLARA DICKSON HALL—After having met so many people since arriving at college, Michelle Taylor ‘22 is reportedly dying to return to her hometown this Fall Break and tell her parents all about the new college friends who won’t be a part of her life in two months’ time.

“I’m so excited to tell them about exploring AppleFest with Jacob and Matthew, and that time I stayed up with Katherine and Julia, just talking all night,” said Taylor, who will no longer be spending time with any of those people by the next time she returns home. Taylor also said she also can’t wait wait to show her parents how her new friends already have an active GroupMe, which after January will only be used by Jacob, trying to sell tickets to his a cappella concert.

“It’s amazing how fast we’ve bonded!” Taylor plans to tell her parents, who will be so naive as to ask her for updates on those same friends during Thanksgiving dinner.

While Taylor is expected to lose touch with all of her current friends before next semester, she will still run into the boy she hooked up with once with during o-week every fucking day for the next four years.

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