Nooz Staff January 24, 2020

Student Almost Certainly Bringing Up Greek Life to Talk About Her Own Sorority

OLIN LIBRARY—Jess Maza ‘23’s run in with a first semester class acquaintance this Friday spiralled into a conversational disaster when a brief recap of winter break started to look like an in-depth discussion of the acquaintance’s new sorority.

Maza should have realized what was happening after Michelle Clark ‘23 removed her jacket revealing a long sleeve t-shirt with three greek letters emblazoned across the chest, but it wasn’t until Clark seized upon a brief lull in conversation to tell Maza about how excited she is for “everything new this semester” that Maza understood she was in trouble.

“So, I was just wondering if you rushed at all this semester?” continued Clark, ensnaring Maza further into her preferred discussion.

Despite Maza’s conscious effort to bring up other topics and avoid any discussion of student organizations, the persistent Clark was undeterred. 

Eliminating all threats to her preferred course of conversation one-by-one, the Machiavellian genius could only stand back and watch as Maza was forced to admit that no, she had not participated in any greek life activities this semester. “Oh my God Jess, you really should have,” Clark finally struck. “I just have to tell you about how excited I am about all my new sisters.”

At press time, every other person in Olin Library heard every single word of the conversation.

The library-goers’ ears were no match for the conversation, as extremely loud, detailed descriptions of every new sister filled the lobby.

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