Nooz Staff October 14, 2020

OP-ED: Gurgle Gurgle (By: Your Tummy During Zoom lecture)

Gurgle gurgle. Growl. Grrrrrrr. Slosh. Slosh. Slosh. Burble. Grrrnrn. GrrrRRRRrrrr. Glurp gleep glorp. I am tummy, and it is time for class. Pop pop.

Snurglesnurglesnurgle. Splish. Sploosh. Brrrrrrrooooooooppppplllleeeeee. GRRrrrrr. Brurhuriruruh? Boop. It’s brave of you to have your mic turned on right now, within gurgling distance. Ploosh. Gululuululugugglugulgulg. 

Blub blub. Grumble. DAIRY ALERT WEE WOO WEE WOO! Gkgkgkgkgkgkgkgkgkgkgkgkgkkggkggrrrrrrrrrrrrpppppp.  Gurglegurgle. Hmmmbmblblblbmbmb. Grrrrrrrr.

Glug glug glug. RRrrrrrrrrr. Mmm. Brrrrrrrrgrgrggggggggg. Hhnnng. I am tummy, and I will not cease to gurgle. Grrrrr. Burbleburble. 

Brrrrmmmmm. Did you think I was done? My gurgles are limitless. Glug. Gurgle. Shoop. Mmmmmrrrrrr. When your class is over, when you consume food in a fruitless attempt to acquiesce my hunger, when you lay awake in bed, I will remain here, gurgling. Gurglegurglegurgle. Grrr.

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