Pile of Whippet Canisters Outside Enzo’s Grows, Hope for Future Shrinks

ENZO’S PIZZERIA — A mysterious collection of unique liter, used whippet canisters, has begun accumulating at an impressive rate outside of Enzo’s Pizzeria, the finest local italian Ithaca has to offer. What started out as just a few whippets, has transformed into a pile of at least fifteen, and appears to continue growing. 

“Every day when I come home, I take a quick look at the pile just to see what it’s up to. I’ve been noticing it grows at least a few meters taller almost every day,” notes Ronald Gildon 22’, a resident of the apartment building above Enzo’s, “They’re almost beautiful in a way. You have to imagine whoever is throwing out those little canisters must be having a great few seconds.” 

Indeed the sight truly is something to behold. The silver canisters glisten when the sun sets upon them just right. For are whippets not but apples in the garden of Eden? Forbidden, desired, and ultimately, consumed, it seems that this might be exactly the case for these students. The rate of whippet consumption does prove interesting, however, with the pile growing on a routine daily basis. 

Awe-striking to some, others seem to note the toll of the pile. “I mean I see ‘em come down every day, people throwing their little canister’s, tossing them on the curb of my restaurant,” Mr. Enzo described his initial feelings on the pile, “I just don’t know what’s gotten into these kids now-a-days. Don’t they teach you littering is bad at that school of yours?”

    The pile had almost doubled in size at press time, as had the disposers’ carbon footprint. 

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