GOLDWIN SMITH HALL— In response to a wave of controversial guests from designated hate groups visiting campus, as well as a wave of protests against them, Cornell Centrists have found middle ground by inviting undesignated hate groups instead.
“Clearly campus is incredibly divided right now,” claimed Centrist President Brett Nichards ‘23. “On one side, you have people who think bringing SPLC-designated hate groups onto campus is a good idea. On the other side, you have people who get really mad when they find documentation of the hate speech those speakers regularly engage in. But there has to be a middle ground somewhere, and we figured if we bring in hate groups without much of an online footprint, no one would find things they say to get mad about and we could avoid the real problem here.”
In the past several months, Cornell has become an epicenter of campus political discourse across the country due to its fractured campus climate and the multitude of partisan student groups. Multiple studies show students on both sides of the political aisle can feel pressured to hide their beliefs. Now non-partisan student activists are claiming they have the solutions Cornell needs.
“As a centrist, I believe that any problem can be fixed with compromise,” added group member James Andersmith ‘26. “When I first heard there were designated hate groups on campus, I was furious, and I’ll admit I wanted them gone. But then I found out that some students wanted to bring overt transphobia onto campus, and I didn’t want to be too close-minded. So I took a look at what the protesters were saying, and they kept bringing up how this speaker had a designation from the Southern Poverty Law Center. I immediately thought, ‘Eureka, I have a compromise!’ Basically, I set up a series of lectures from obscure transphobes that the SPLC never heard of, and everyone wins! ”
At press time, Cornell Centrists reported that due to lack of advertising, no one came to their event or protested it, which they deemed a “great success.”