OP-ED: If You Were Really My Friend, You Wouldn’t Make Me Go to Your A Cappella Concert

Approximately twice a year, many Cornellians must rethink some of their life decisions. This often occurs at the end of the semester, and is often centered around their friendships with people in a cappella groups. But recently, I’ve come to the conclusion that if these people were REALLY my friends, they would not ask me to come to their concert in the first place.

It’s a tale as old as time: first semester, you meet new friends, and some of them happen to be good at singing. Soon they decide to join an a cappella group, and then they fall off the grid for three months. All of the sudden, as the semester is coming to a close, you’ll get a text from them every day.  

These texts are nearly always underhanded. “Don’t forget my show is this Friday!” (I can’t possibly forget because you’re texting me every five minutes to remind me.) “Tell our other friends to come too!” (We both know there’s a reason they haven’t bought a ticket yet.) “We’re almost sold out!” (A straight up lie: they reserved the biggest venue on campus.) “Tickets are more expensive at the door!” (Is that a threat?)

Tell me, is this how “friends” act? Would a true friend ruin your favorite song? Or make you waste 2 hours of your life each semester? To all of my “friends” in a cappella groups, I beg of you, please, spare me. If you value our relationship, just ask literally anyone else to come.

But the truth of the matter is, when it comes down to it, there is no such thing as a “friend” in an a cappella group.

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