MORRISON DINING—In just their first week on campus, freshmen have been subjected to unsavory dining hall food due to the ongoing strike of Cornell Dining workers. In response, many of these new students and their parents have taken to social media to express their frustrations.
One student, however, doesn’t seem to mind the new dining hall menus much at all.
Harrison Charles ‘28, an internal nation student from the U.K., has been adapting well to new dishes such as “raw broccoli” and “boiled chicken,” which he describes as a “typical Tuesday night at [his] nan’s.”
“Where I’m from, Wolkenweshtenshire Abbey, tofu straight from the package is a delicacy,” Charles conceded. “Are you supposed to cook it or something?”
In contrast with students from literally anywhere else in the world, Charles complained that Cornell’s new normal was too appetizing.
“I’d like for this pale pile of mush to be more lukewarm and have even less color, actually,” Charles said of his Morrison Hall dinner. “As a matter of fact, could I have it without any salt next time?” he continued.
As his hungry peers continue to abstain from meals, Charles sees no problem with their desperation, claiming that beans on toast is actually quite filling. In fact, Cornell’s current dining situation has cured his homesickness.
“I was worried that I would be homesick going to uni so far away from home, but this dry, undercooked shredded chicken with a side of tepid canned beans fills me with the same warm feeling as me nan’s home-cooked meals,” he said.
At press time, the British freshman was seen scabbing at Becker Dining Hall to keep his nation’s cuisine alive at his new campus.
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