COLLEGE OF VETERINARY MEDICINE—Students were able to get their seasonal flu shots free of charge this year at a variety of sites on campus. Unfortunately, it seems like some individuals who received their vaccine at the College of Veterinary Medicine are suffering from an unintended side effect: neighing like a horse on anabolic steroids.
Carlton James ‘26 began suffering pony-like symptoms mere moments after he received his flu shot. “NE-E-E-E-I-GHH,” James whinnied, distressedly pointing to the bandage on his right arm. His friends stared at him hopelessly.
Luckily, animal science major and equine interpreter Jamie Gonzalez ‘26 was there to translate. According to Gonzalez, “[James] said, if they had to give him the horse meds, he wished he could’ve gotten ketamine instead.” James reared his legs in agreement, then chomped on a nearby carrot.
Members of the vet school community were horrified by these medical malpractice allegations. In a last-ditch PR attempt, Dr. George Cow tried to alleviate some of the concern about getting shots at the vet site. “Humans and horses share half their genome. What’s the worst that could happen?”
When asked if he thought he would ever recover, James replied, frowning: “Neigh”.
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