GOLDWIN SMITH HALL—Dozens of students were left bewildered today when they received a Slack message from an unmarked sender.
“Hey everyone! Super excited to meet everyone from clubfest at our first GBody on Tuesday, Dec 10th at 7pm!”
Many were planning to leave the Slack; however, the message went on to tell the unsuspecting recipients to “stay tuned for eboard applications coming soon,” and many students decided to stick around after all.
“I think that the Procrastination Club president is doing a great job,” said one particularly emphatic asskisser. “I have really enjoyed all of the meeting and activity they have planned so far.”
Despite the club’s virtual nonexistence, these devoted bootlickers continued to uphold its legitimacy in the hopes that they, too, could one day do the bare minimum with the organization and still slap it on their resumes.
At press time, the club president could not be reached for comment, stating only, “Would love to chat! I’ll get back to you some time soon…”
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