Tag Archives: Apartment

Seniors Excited to Move out of Shitty Collegetown Apartments, Be Exploited by Richer Landlords in Bigger Cities

COLLEGETOWN—As finals wrap up and seniors prepare to move out of their apartments, many have begun to rejoice at the prospect of leaving behind the inflation, underregulation, and rigidity of Ithaca’s housing market in favor of the monopolization, artificial scarcity, and frenetic pace of the markets in new, cooler cities. Read More

Student Unsure How to Politely Tell Roommate There is “No Chance in Hell” They’ll Live Together Next Year

COLLEGETOWN— Worried student Samatha Check ‘23 is struggling to decide how to inform her current roommate that there’s not a goddamn chance the pair will be living together for the coming 2021-2022 academic year.  “She’s a sweet girl,” Check said of her roommate since freshman year, “But she’s always so Read More

Jewish Student Uses Yom Kippur to Reflect on How He Doesn’t Have Food in House Anyway

COLLEGETOWN — In recognition of Yom Kippur, the annual Jewish holiday of atonement during which followers often fast for a full 24 hours, Cornell student Isaac Rosen ’18 has decided to refrain from eating and reflect on the fact that he doesn’t really have any food in his house anyway. Read More