Tag Archives: Asshole

OP-ED: Inconsiderate Asshole Is Successful When I Am Not

In a targeted attack to ruin my life, absolute shitstain Roger Wilhelm ‘22 continues to be successful at literally everything, while I can’t even tie my shoelaces without them coming undone five steps later.  Roger recently announced his internship at Doctors Without Borders, which he only got because his roommate’s Read More

Asshole Professor Makes Adorable Gingerbread House

TOMPKINS COUNTY, NY — After approving the grades that would lead 58 students to tears and 17 to change their majors, asshole math professor Nancy Druckman began piping royal icing between walls of delectable cookies to assemble her adorable holiday gingerbread house. Professor Druckman, commonly referred to as “the devil Read More