cis – CU Nooz

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Student Receives Journal and Therapy, Stops Writing for Daily Sun Opinion Section
2 days ago2 days ago
Ann Coulter Rejects Freedom of Expression Ice Cream Flavor, Argues It Has “Too Much Chocolate”
3 days ago3 days ago
Evil Professor To Teach All Classes in Your Major, Minor, and Distribution Requirements Next Semester
3 days ago3 days ago
Brace Faced Nerd Clocktower to Wear Headgear All Summer
1 week ago1 week ago
Pathetic Zeus Visitor Not Good Enough for Pristine Marble Table, Exiled to Weak Little Wooden Bench
1 week ago1 week ago
Morrison Dining Petitions Cornell for Increased Funding After Spending Over Half the Budget on Windex
1 week ago1 week ago

CIS Finally Gets to Second Base

Nooz Staff2 years ago2 years ago03 mins

A generous donation from Ann S. Bowers ‘59 has allowed Cornell’s College of Computing and Information Science to embark on an ambitious multi-year project aimed at finally helping its 2,000 students reach second base. “As CIS grows in scope and scale, we seek to prioritize the needs of students in our strategic development, which is…

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Visibly Deranged CS Professor Demands Students Transfer Consciousness to Computer, Upload to CMS By Next Sunday

Nooz Staff4 years ago4 years ago03 mins

LOCATION BLOCKED—Streaming from the depths of his secret mountain lair, Professor Lucas Mordock excitedly announced over a Zoom lecture on Friday that “the time had finally come to set his master plan into motion,” instructing his students to submit a digital copy of their minds within a week. The chilling vision of things to come,…