The Nerve! Person Sits in Chair Next to Me
The chicken panini is set on the coffee table and I feel a weight sink down into the black faux leather beside me. This is a declaration of war.
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Student Behind on Readings for Gov Class Thinks “Infrastructure Bill” is Charming Nickname for Burly Railway Worker
GOLDWIN SMITH HALL一Showing up late to class for the 3rd time this week, so-called Government major Davos Spalding ‘25 seemed surprised to learn that all this talk about “Infrastructure Bill” was centered around a piece of legislation and not, as he had expected, a burly, brolic, big-biceped railway engineer who’d earned the nickname through his…
“I’m Not Sure If They’ll Let Me Say This These Days,” Says Senior Lecturer About to Say Most Horrifying Thing You’ve Ever Heard
PHILLIPS HALL—Students were left horrified this Tuesday after senior lecturer Timothy Ostgarden paused his 8 am lecture to remark, “Now, I’m not sure if they’ll let me say these days,” before embarking on a thirty minute screed against women, minorities, the LGBT community, and the Irish. “I’m disappointed in Dr. Ostgarden, to be honest,” said…
Absolute Comedy God Answers “C” on True/False iClicker Question
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Professor Encourages Students to Ask Questions He Already Knows How to Answer
ROCKEFELLER HALL—During his Intermediate Quantum Mechanics lecture, Professor Zhao urged his students not to hold back and to ask questions about anything they’re unsure about, unless, of course, he can’t answer the question himself. “Come on, guys,” Zhao said, finishing an illegible problem on the board, “You can ask me any question you can think…