WILLARD STRAIGHT HALL—Though there exist a multitude of excellent places across campus to have an emotional crisis, Sid Lathe ‘24 reached his own mental breaking point while descending down into Okenshields. Though the brief foreboding feelings of doom that accompany any trip down these particular stairs were not unfamiliar to Lathe, the accompanying sense of…
LYNAH RINK—When Charlie Yu ‘26 bought his ticket to the 2023 Cornell-Harvard men’s ice hockey game, he didn’t realize how much of a commitment it would be. But two days after the game’s conclusion, the stands remained empty save for the lone sophomore’s silent vigil as he waited for the perfect conditions to toss his…
BAKER LABORATORY—“It’s ALIVE! It’s ALLLIVVVEEE!” echoed throughout the halls of Baker Lab Wednesday morning as Cornell Republicans celebrated their one and only victory this week. “As Republicans, inclusion is really important to us,” explained Cornell Republican President Benjamin Bigot ‘24. “I should clarify: the optics of inclusion are important to us. Actually spending time with…
KENNEDY HALL—Maxwell Tang ‘27 is well-known amongst his PSYCH 1300 classmates–not for being well-versed in developmental psychology–but for consistently interrupting his professor to defend Sigmund Freud from any criticism. So when Tang’s parents arrived in Ithaca for Parents’ Weekend, his tendencies began to make sense. “Ohhhhh, that makes sense now,” said Tang’s classmate, Anabelle Wright…
In a phenomenon akin to the rare confluence of Passover, Ramadan, and Easter, this past weekend saw the intersection of two sacred festivals: Halloween and Parents Weekend. Despite my best attempts to respect and honor both traditions, I have been subject to allegations that I “crossed a line,” and that your mother’s very convincing great-grandma…
STEWART AVE—The many responsibilities of a frat brother can be difficult to juggle. Managing throwing parties, violently hazing freshmen, and covering up said hazing all at once is a tough ask. So when pledge brother Austin Anders ‘26 was put on door duty for Alpha Pi Ro Kappa Delta Gamma’s Halloween party, mistakes–such as welcoming…
STATLER HALL–Many were gripped by shock and awe today as what looked to be a procession of animated undead corpses made their way across central campus. Upon further investigation by campus officials, it seemed that the would-be arbiters of Armageddon turned out to be attending an investment banking information session. A witness to the ghastly…
KENNEDY HALL—BIOEE 1780 lecture was cut short yesterday afternoon after a series of peculiar events transpired in the lecture hall. Students streamed out in near silence, stunned at what they had witnessed: a large anthropomorphized sea bass, throbbing and thrashing on stage after being thrown by Felix Ichthyus ‘26 from the third row. When asked…
SCHOELLKOPF FIELD – Cornell football has just won their second game of the season to raise their record to an unbeaten 2-0, a rare feat for the idling ball club. Although this may seem like a welcome occasion for our student-athletes, some amongst the training staff are a bit wearier of what Cornell has accomplished….
Animal Science Junior Clayton Keane ’25 considers himself lucky. He gets to wake up every day and do his favorite thing: unsupervised barn time. As the first to arrive & last to leave, Keane has taken advantage of every opportunity the program affords. He relishes the hands-on aspect of the curriculum, estimating that he has…
