cucumbers (wink wink)

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Ann Coulter Rejects Freedom of Expression Ice Cream Flavor, Argues It Has “Too Much Chocolate”
41 mins ago40 mins ago
Evil Professor To Teach All Classes in Your Major, Minor, and Distribution Requirements Next Semester
19 hours ago19 hours ago
Brace Faced Nerd Clocktower to Wear Headgear All Summer
5 days ago5 days ago
Pathetic Zeus Visitor Not Good Enough for Pristine Marble Table, Exiled to Weak Little Wooden Bench
6 days ago6 days ago
Morrison Dining Petitions Cornell for Increased Funding After Spending Over Half the Budget on Windex
1 week ago1 week ago
“My Cornell Didn’t Have Trigger Warnings,” Complains Alumni Whose Cornell Also Didn’t Have Women
12 months ago12 months ago

Nutritional Sciences Major Eating Cucumber Like a Banana Knows Something You Don’t

Nooz Staff2 years ago2 years ago02 mins

KINZELBERG HALL—After multiple passers-by observed nutritional sciences major Anthony Walters ‘23 eating a cucumber as one might consume a banana, sources confirmed he must have access to some insider information. “There’s no way he’s just eating that because he enjoys it, right?” said civil engineering major Madison Davies ‘24. “Like, pickles I could maybe understand,…

Ann Coulter Rejects Freedom of Expression Ice Cream Flavor, Argues It Has “Too Much Chocolate”

Evil Professor To Teach All Classes in Your Major, Minor, and Distribution Requirements Next Semester

Brace Faced Nerd Clocktower to Wear Headgear All Summer

Pathetic Zeus Visitor Not Good Enough for Pristine Marble Table, Exiled to Weak Little Wooden Bench

Morrison Dining Petitions Cornell for Increased Funding After Spending Over Half the Budget on Windex

“My Cornell Didn’t Have Trigger Warnings,” Complains Alumni Whose Cornell Also Didn’t Have Women

Nutritional Sciences Major Eating Cucumber Like a Banana Knows Something You Don’t