This article was sponsored by CUPB: Stephanie Beatriz is coming to Cornell on February 14th at Bailey Hall. Join CUPB, MCFAB, and Haven for a moderated Q&A to get a behind-the-scenes look at the hit show and her career. Beatriz is not only known for her hit show Brooklyn Nine-Nine but also for her outspoken advocacy for LGBTQ+ rights and queer representation. Tickets are available at CornellTickets.com
BAILEY HALL—As she takes the stage this Valentine’s Day at 7:00, Stephanie Beatriz, beloved for her role as Detective Rosa Diaz on the hit show “Brooklyn Nine-Nine”, will be facing a pressing conundrum: why your sorry ass is all alone.
“It’s going to be amazing,” noted desperate romantic Victor Romero ‘22. “I mean, I had to bail on my girlfriend to come spend Valentine’s Day listening to another woman speak, but I’m honestly so excited to watch her piece together a real life mystery!”
Romero isn’t the only Cornell student eager to see the actress solve the puzzle of romantic snafus during her dinnertime show on the evening internationally regarded as the most romantic day of the year.
“Of course I could have had Valentine’s plans,” said Joanna McMahon ‘21. “I must have said no to five, maybe six group dates, dinners, date nights and mixers. It was way more important to me to learn why I’m somehow still single, and come to this Friday night show all alone.”
At press time, the Cornell University Programming Board suggested maybe, possibly, kind of ditching your Valentine and spending the evening getting sassed by Detective Rosa Diaz. You probably spend plenty of time watching Brooklyn Nine-Nine alone anyway, what’s one more night?