COOL INSURING ARENA- At the most anticipated athletic event of the year, one furry friend failed to live up to expectation. Despite his status as ”Pick of the litter,” the forty pound Wide Retriever, Fido appeared to crumble under the pressure. His fluffy, adorable exterior quickly melted away when it became clear that his football knowledge was severely lacking.
“What the fuck is he doing?” screamed Coach Hound, snapping his clipboard over his knee. “I told him to run the fetch route and WHAT does the so-called ‘star’ pup decide to do? He is completely rogue and running all over Team Ruff territory!”
A spokesperson for Team Fluff revealed at a press conference that Fido’s drug tests revealed that he was on worm medication, flea medication, and several types of horse tranquilizers at the time of the game.
When asked to comment, Fido stated “WOOF WOOF ARF ARF AWOOOOOOOOO.”