lunch – CU Nooz

Headlines

Expressive Activity Policy Updated with Provisions for “Acceptable White Hood Size” and “Torch Specifications”
22 hours ago22 hours ago
Uh Oh! Friend Immediately Agreeing to Plan Might Be a Loser
5 days ago5 days ago
“Mark Robinson Was Busy,” Cornell Republicans Explain Decision to Invite Ben Shapiro to Campus
7 days ago7 days ago
Fakest, Nastiest Bitch You Know Dressed As Angel Instead of Devil
11 months ago11 months ago
“Hey Why is That Guy in the Cop Costume Using Tear Gas on Innocent Civilians?” Frat Doorman Realizes He Messed Up Big Time
11 months ago11 months ago
Dark Academia? I Am Sad and Have To Do Homework
12 months ago12 months ago

Lucky Student Manages to Snag Thirty Free Tables in Temple of Zeus During Lunch Rush

Nooz Staff4 years ago02 mins

TEMPLE OF ZEUS—Scrambling to beat the lunch rush at Temple of Zeus, Jackson France ’23 was elated to find the thirty tables he wanted all free. “I’m always extra vigilant on Mac and Cheese Day because I know how cutthroat it can get,” explained France. “I didn’t expect to get more than 22 or 23…

Student Enters Sixth Hour of Waiting to be let into 2nd Floor of Trillium

Nooz Staff5 years ago03 mins

KENNEDY HALL—Citing her exasperation at no one making enough eye contact for her to silently mime an opening motion before being let through the one-way door, Katherine Ochona, ’21, has reportedly spent the last 6 hours orbiting the 2nd floor door between Kennedy Hall and Trillium. “I was just leaving my 10:10 Biochemistry class, when…