Student Complains About Slow Shipping on Leggings Amid Global Pandemic and Economic Meltdown

LONG ISLAND—Following the removal of a 2-day shipping option, Maria Prescott ’21 expressed her frustrations over the personal inconvenience of an international crisis that has taken over 200,000 lives worldwide and left millions more unemployed.

“Shipping situation a nightmare; @fabletics & @lululemon need to get those trucks moving,” tweeted Prescott, unaware that an outbreak at the textile factory had forced its shutdown, devastating the livelihoods of its 800 employees. “I don’t care if that driver is sick or dead,” said Prescott, in reference to a truck driver who was laid off in April and is, in fact, now dead.  

Staring into the kitchen fridge of her family’s second house, Prescott was additionally annoyed at her lack of organic blueberries for her smoothie; the regional supply chain for organic fruit nearly imploded last week, resulting in estimated losses of $100,000 just for a few local farmers.  

At dinner time, a hungry Prescott was overheard complaining about her inability to buy her favorite chicken parmesan because the restaurant “is like going bankrupt or whatever.”