WARREN HALL—Dyson student and absolute shithead Peter Hendrik ‘24, known to fellow students in AEM 1056 as “the Guy who’s really unfucking funny”, was quick to express his enjoyment of Elon Musk’s turn as host of the past weekend’s Saturday Night Live during the class’s penultimate Zoom lecture this Monday.
“Holy shit guys. I had no idea that the Dogefather was such a great comedian too! I mean, his delivery in the skit about Wario killing Mario or whatever was comedy gold” Hendrik said, to his non-fuckwad classmates, of the Tesla CEO and noted apartheid profiteer’s hosting debut. “I’ve been following his Twitter for a long time to learn more about the great comedy I can make when I use my Dyson degree to become rich and famous, too. I guess you could call me something of a Musketeer,” the giant shit explained to absolutely no one’s amusement.
Other students in the class were less impressed with Musk’s performance and fucking moron Hendrik’s admiration. “Why is this guy such a stupid slut for Elon Musk?” Henry Klein ‘22 remarked to his roommate while muted on Zoom. “None of his skits were funny; they just clowned on Gen-Z, as if Musk isn’t already dooming our generation through his promotion of ecologically devastating and fucking stupid DogeCoin.” Fellow classmate Naomi Rogers ‘22 noted total bitchass Hendrik’s status as insufferably unfunny, stating “that guy tries to crack jokes every single day, and despite the fact that no one ever laughs at his immaturity and lack of self-awareness, he keeps doing it. He really is emulating Elon Musk in that sense.”
By press time, absolute worms-for-brains Hendrik had reportedly lost a massive amount of his parents’ money that he had invested in DogeCoin, which tanked after Musk’s appearance on the show. Nevertheless, he was excited to continue pretending that he would one day make enough money to best Elon Musk as SNL’s richest and least funny host.