I’m an intelligent guy. I got a four on the AP Biology exam three years ago, so I’d say I know pretty much everything there is to know about science. So when my BIOG 2020 professor seemingly addressed a question to my female classmate this morning, I knew I had to jump in.
It’s not that I don’t respect my female classmates; of course not. It’s just that I have a busy schedule of sucking the samples off my professor’s dirty Keens the second lecture ends, and I can’t have some woman talking about shopping for thirty minutes making class run late. I think my twenty minute explanation saved the class a lot of time, and it only took the professor an additional fifteen minutes to go over everything I got wrong.
Some may say that I’m disregarding the females in my class by so callously speaking over them, but I’ll have you know that I love women. Specifically, my mother, who drives over every weekend to wash my big boy undies and make me crustless sammies. I’m sure if a woman ever contributes anything to science, I’ll respect a second woman as well.
If I am wrong and the professor really meant to address my femoid classmate, who may at this very moment be considering leaving STEM forever because of the way men treat her, let me face the social consequences for interrupting a woman: Literally fucking nothing. I’m excited not to see her next lecture!