Transfer Student Says of Old School: “I Think It Was Just a Bouncy Castle”

TOWNHOUSE COMMUNITY – Transferring to Cornell after his freshman year, Bryce Bannister ‘18 has come to the conclusion that his former school was actually merely a large inflatable bouncy castle, not unlike those rented for children’s birthday parties.

Bannister began to suspect that he was not in fact majoring in Religious Studies at an institution of higher learning just a few months into his first semester. “For one,” says Bannister “I didn’t have any tests or homework at all. Actually, I didn’t even apply there. I just climbed into a squishy building I saw in a park, found a discarded Jehovah’s Witness pamphlet, and started reading that.”

Though he has found Cornell a more enriching academic experience, Bannister admits that there are aspects of his old “school” that he misses, stating that “the social life there was more my speed. I’m not so much a frat party guy as a sit alone in a brightly colored house made of vinyl and nylon guy.”

Bannister emphasizes that he has no regrets about his decision to transfer to Cornell, however he does dearly miss his raccoon and vermin friends at his old school.