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March 13, 2026
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  • “These Hands Don’t Haze!” Says Frat President Who Used Legs to Kick Shit Out of Pledges
  • Half-Assed Discussion Post Setting Dangerous Precedent For Rest of Semester
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September 25, 2023

  • Sports

Big Red Football Repents on Yom Kippur for Defying G-d by Going 2-0

Nooz Staff2 years ago2 weeks ago03 mins

SCHOELLKOPF FIELD – Cornell football has just won their second game of the season to raise their record to an unbeaten 2-0, a rare feat for the idling ball club. Although this may seem like a welcome occasion for our student-athletes, some amongst the training staff are a bit wearier of what Cornell has accomplished….

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