Cornell Parking Enforcement Welcomes Admitted Cars to Tow
HOY ROAD PARKING GARAGE– On March 26, Cornell Parking Enforcement admitted a historic class of 5,776 prospective cars in the Regular Decision application cycle. “Over the next four years, these vehicles will be exposed to an unparalleled lack of parking opportunities” said Nelson Herrera, senior vice provost for ticketing management and towing education. “Most importantly,…
Admitted Students Blockade Strait of Morrison Stir Fry
MORRISON DINING—In a dramatic escalation of Cornell Days tensions, Morrison’s vital Stir Fry Corridor has been shut down by a horde of admitted students and accompanying family members. The Class of 2030 Blockade represents the newest development in a region with a troubled history. “Passage through the strait was always precarious,” noted Morrison relations expert…
Know Before You Go: The Chainsmokers’ Thoughts on the War in Iran
We all remember last year’s Slope Day fiasco, when Kehlani’s invitation to be the event’s headliner was revoked days after being announced. Last week, EDM duo The Chainsmokers were revealed as the Slope Day artist, whose hits like “Something Just Like This” and “Don’t Let Me Down” shot them to the top of the music…
“I Don’t Think They’re Talking About the Language Anymore”: Concerns Grow about Friend Pursuing Italian Minor
MORRISON DINING—For months, Nathan Reed ’26 has spoken passionately about pursuing an Italian minor. His peers recall him using phrases like, “I’m learning so much,” and “I’ve really been enjoying my minor.” Two of his friends, Joy Nguyen ’26 and Eric Walters ’26, assumed he was just really into the language, but they soon realized…
Programming Board Announces Roster of AI Musicians for First Annual Slop Day
WILLARD STRAIGHT HALL—In an Instagram post Thursday morning, the Slope Day Programming Board revealed that Cornell’s iconic spring music concert will henceforth be headlined entirely by AI-generated artists. The group also promised to update the name of the beloved event accordingly. The news was met with considerable disappointment from the Cornell community, especially from those…
Heartwarming! Cornell Sun Writer Not Sure What “News” Is, Publishes Article About Their Tuesday
ARTS QUAD—For a rare few at the Cornell Daily Sun, journalism centers around the noble pursuit of disseminating knowledge to the public. The task of educating and informing the student body is not an easy one, so when Sun writer Davis Gardner ‘27 was first asked to write an article, he instead turned to his…
