Saturday, October 24, 2026
Press Secretary’s White House Speedrun Beats Time for Escaping Ives Speedrun
Empty Beer Can Crushed, Devastated
Vote of No Continence? Kotlikoff Shits Pants
Uris Hall Excited to Announce New 0 Ply Toilet Paper

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
Press Secretary’s White House Speedrun Beats Time for Escaping Ives Speedrun
Empty Beer Can Crushed, Devastated
Vote of No Continence? Kotlikoff Shits Pants
Uris Hall Excited to Announce New 0 Ply Toilet Paper

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
Headlines

Press Secretary’s White House Speedrun Beats Time for Escaping Ives Speedrun

Empty Beer Can Crushed, Devastated

Vote of No Continence? Kotlikoff Shits Pants

Uris Hall Excited to Announce New 0 Ply Toilet Paper

“I’ll See You In Court”: Student Mistakes CKB Resident’s Invitation As Legal Threat

Morrison Stir-Fry Station Switches to Cup & Ball Scam for Food Pickup

Cornell President Warns Replacing President Would Harm Cornell, Cornell President

Halloween Enthusiast Disappointed by Ithaca Wine & Spirits

Throbbing Hangover Headache Met With 7:45 A.M. Clocktower Rendition of “Here Comes The Sun”

“You Know, Too Much Sleep Is Actually Bad For You,” Student Tells Person-Shaped Bush

Spring 2026 Issue