Friday, October 2, 2026
Splitsies! Group Assignment Done By Just You
CUPD Claims K-9 Ate Report
Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 
Student Who Chose Cornell For Top 12 Ranking Forced to Transfer

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Splitsies! Group Assignment Done By Just You
CUPD Claims K-9 Ate Report
Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 
Student Who Chose Cornell For Top 12 Ranking Forced to Transfer

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
Headlines

Splitsies! Group Assignment Done By Just You

CUPD Claims K-9 Ate Report

Biology Major Stressed About Answers to Pre-Limbs 

Only Minority in Friend Group Already Knows Who She Going to Be

Ambitious Group Project Member Needs To Take The Fucking Hint

Motivational Message Etched Into Library Desk Undermined By Penis Right Beneath It

Polycule Sex Cult Still Calling Itself “Co-Op”

Cornell Announces “Raw Chicken Wednesdays” to Slim Down Large Freshman Class

Americans Defeat Fascism by Putting On Greatest Talent Show This Nation Has Ever Seen

Mamdani Debates Cuomo As World War I Flying Ace Curtis Sliwa Dogfights Infamous Red Baron

Spring 2026 Issue