Saturday, September 12, 2026
Mama’s Cleverest Boy Stumped by Strange Clothes-Washing Machine
Cornell Republican Sheds Red Nose and Polka Dot Romper, Slinks into Suit for Rare ClubFest Metamorphosis
English Department Receives $12 Grant
Level B ‘Underage Tuesdays’ Sees Commercial Success, Legal Ramifications

CU Nooz

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Mama’s Cleverest Boy Stumped by Strange Clothes-Washing Machine
Cornell Republican Sheds Red Nose and Polka Dot Romper, Slinks into Suit for Rare ClubFest Metamorphosis
English Department Receives $12 Grant
Level B ‘Underage Tuesdays’ Sees Commercial Success, Legal Ramifications

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
Headlines

Mama’s Cleverest Boy Stumped by Strange Clothes-Washing Machine

Cornell Republican Sheds Red Nose and Polka Dot Romper, Slinks into Suit for Rare ClubFest Metamorphosis

English Department Receives $12 Grant

Level B ‘Underage Tuesdays’ Sees Commercial Success, Legal Ramifications

Birder Actually Not Sure About That One

Professor Spices Up Syllabus With Jokes Like “Attendance is Mandatory”

Outfit Shabby Enough to Do Work in Math Library Today

Super Seniors Devastated to Learn of “No Game” in Freshman Dorms

Worst Guy You Know Looking For Manic Pixie Tylenol Users

Wasian Student Association To Host Mixer

Spring 2026 Issue