GREEN SCREEN—In a Saturday video statement, university president Michael Kotlikoff spoke directly to the Cornell community, informing them that he was just as curious as they were about how his administration intends to address sexual violence. “I want to acknowledge something that can be difficult for an institution to say: we don’t have all the…
BETHE HOUSE—On the laptop of sophomore Katie Maxwell ’29, a frantic scene emerged. Last Thursday, she had been assigned a random partner to work on a group assignment, but she had not yet heard from him, nary a word nor a sound. First contact with William Hopkins ’29 was reached at 8:34 PM, approximately three…
BARTON HALL—Accused of omitting key details from Jane Doe’s testimony in the report they provided to the Tompkins County District Attorney, the Cornell University Police Department told the press Friday morning that parts of the document had simply been consumed by one of the force’s K-9 units. On November 25, 2024, CUPD supplied the DA’s…
STIMSON HALL— Vertebrate limb development had Brian Perry ‘30 sweating bullets. Although limb formation only took up a couple slides of a lecture from his Intro to Evolutionary Biology class, his classmates’ talk of “prelim(b)s” had him thinking the topic might be pretty significant for his upcoming exam. “Everybody I talked to said they were…
CLARA DICKSON HALL— While scrolling on Instagram on September 22nd, Andrew Tian ‘30, whose profile bio reads “Cornell ‘30 T12,” learned of a deeply perturbing development. US News and World Report’s new Best Colleges Ranking had rated Cornell University 14th, dangerously lower than the number 12 spot it occupied last year. Tian frantically started exploring…
ITHACA, NY—Navigating Ithaca can be difficult. From long bus rides to even longer walks, the city isn’t as accessible as many students desire. Luckily, you’re bound to meet at least one person who brought their car to campus–all you have to do is befriend them. Maria Gomez ‘28 is a proud car owner, but insists…
DAY HALL—Amidst widespread scrutiny over his administration’s handling of the 2024 Chi Phi rape case, Cornell President Michael Kotlikoff has expressed frustration about the limited reach of his preferred platform for damage control. Sources within the administration—which has come under fire for assigning essays as a punishment for the accused rapists—say Kotlikoff was infuriated to…
ITHACA—On Friday evening, the sun set, much as it has every evening for the last four billion years. As is common on days with slight cloud cover, every social media feed was temporarily plagued with impressionist photos of pink and purple and orange. For Markus Grey ’28, the photos of the sunset were a welcome…
BAKER LABORATORY — As the semester begins to pick up, both love and germ particles are in the air, causing many campus couples to catch more than just the love bug. Students Tyler Robinson ‘29 and Lacy James ‘29 met in their 9 AM lecture and immediately clicked. They had an organic sort of chemistry…
BARTON HALL — At the annual fall career fair, engineer Erin Zhang ‘28 was seen making a beeline for her favorite company’s booth, eager to debut her newest creation. “In the age of optimization and automation I believe this is the next step in the recruitment world,” Zhang said in a pitch to recruiters. “Allow…
