"Yeah, those guys were brothers here, but they already graduated."

Op-Ed: Frat Won’t Let Me into Halloweekend Party Even Though I Can Name Dahmer, Bundy, and All 45 of Their Victims

These frat doormen are on a serious power trip. For my three years at Cornell, I’ve been sold the lie that if I can name enough people at a fraternity’s front door, then they’ll let me into their party. Well, this Halloween I was still denied entry even though I can name Dahmer, Bundy, and…

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Least Favorite Friend Stuck as Wonker Bell the Gray, Bland Fairy for Halloween

COLLEGETOWN—Every Halloweekend, even the most loyal of friend groups must inevitably reckon with the ultimate trial: picking a fair group costume. This Hallows’ Eve, Kendall Lin ‘27 and her friends were no exception to this timeless tradition of friendship-ruining decisions.  “So, Jenna will be Tinker Bell the Tinker Fairy, I’ll be Silvermist the Water Fairy,…

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Please Take One! Frat Leaves Basket of Zyns on Doorstep for Early Recruitment of Trick-or-Treaters

HIGHLAND ROAD—Happy Halloween! As is tradition, Cornell’s various fraternities have found themselves gearing up for a weekend of spooky costumes, ghoulishly cheap beer and raucous festivities. In their estimation, those frats that throw the most legendary Halloweekend parties will be rewarded with an influx of eager pledges. However, the forward-thinking young men at Phi Omega…

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“Hot, Single 19 Year Old, Down For Hand Stuff” Costume Really Popular Among Divorced Dads

ROSE HALL—Family Weekend is traditionally characterized as an opportunity for parents to learn about their children’s lives at Cornell, for students to hide their stashes of illicit substances, and for dining hall workers to clean up unusually messy tables. However, for Katherine Booker ‘27 and her recently divorced father Mark Booker, this family weekend was…

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