DUFFIELD HALL—On Tuesday morning, the leads of many project teams received an email inviting members to watch a movie with and coffee chat alumni now working for Ooblamon’s Blade, a New York City-based defense company. Ooblamon’s Blade has faced recent controversy surrounding its contracts with the DoD and ICE, with critics condemning its role in…
KLARMAN HALL—In today’s 10:10 AM Linear Algebra lecture, one enterprising student chose to sit at the very edge of the lecture hall, removing access to an entire stretch of perfectly good middle seats. The student, identified as Mike Stevens ‘29, arrived ten minutes early to claim the spot with maximum foot traffic and potential for…
NOVICK’S CAFE — This fall season, unsuspecting freshmen flocked to Novick’s Cafe on North campus, greeted by the shining monolith of the highly awaited fall menu. Featuring classics like the Pumpkin Spice Latte, Novick’s took their seasonal spirit a step further by debuting more unique iterations of autumn favorites. The “Moldy Leaf Macchiato” and “Rotten…
GANĘDAGǪ HALL— Hannah Gordon ‘29 awoke the morning after hooking up with a mutual she met at her friend’s party. As she rubbed her eyes and adjusted her vision to the cold light of day, she was met with the sight of her spooky season suitor awkwardly squeezing himself back into the hot dog garb…
ITHACA, NY—Following the expiration of a contract between Cornell and Flock Safety earlier this month, seven privately-operated surveillance cameras are expected to be disconnected and removed from campus. To prevent high-traffic areas from being left unmonitored, University administrators have proposed a novel and cost-effective alternative. “So basically, I have an SUV,” explained Cornell President Michael…
COURT-KAY-BAUER HALL—When Joanna Stevens ‘30 was assigned to a group project for her public policy class, she hit it off with another member in her group, Clare Brighton ‘30. After chatting each other up during a library work session, Brighton suggested that Stevens join her to finish working on the project later that week. Stevens…
MORRISON DINING– Earlier this week, Morrison Dining responded to student feedback about their stress-inducing and inaccurate system for stir-fry pickup. “We have been hearing complaints about the ‘watch your food as it moves around for seven minutes and pick a plate that looks like your order’ system we currently have,” said Director of Culinary Innovation…
ITHACA, NY—In a series of recent New York Times interviews, Board of Trustees Meetings, and Faculty Senate Meetings, President Kotlikoff repeatedly warned that replacing a President would be detrimental to Cornell’s reputation, a conclusion that has raised questions on whether the President has a stake in the matter. When asked whether the university’s reputation might…
COLLEGETOWN—A fortnight before All Hallows’ Eve, Jack Murray, local Halloween enthusiast and self-proclaimed “ghostbuster,” felt his paranormal-sensing abilities pull him towards Ithaca Wine & Spirits. Murray reported feeling a shiver down his spine, which “couldn’t have possibly been” from the cold air of an Ithaca autumn night. “I thought the combination of alcohol and ghosts…
FLORA ROSE HOUSE—On Thursday morning, Fredrick Menten ‘29 peacefully slept off the previous night’s drunk hijinks in his slope-facing single, the crisp morning air and chirping of birds circulating through his open window. There was no better ailment in his recovery from intoxication. Much to his chagrin, however, the ever-talented chimesmasters of the clocktower chose…
