Skip to content
January 31, 2026
  • Cornell Engineering Debuts ‘This Is What A David Duffield Looks Like’ Shirt
  • Puffer Jacket in Heels Excited to Hit the Town
  • Everyone at Ithaca REI Dressed Like Employee
  • Chuck Schumer Vows to Stand Up to Republicans Until It Time to Take Nap
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
  • CU NoozMagazine | Spring 2025 Issue
Headlines
  • Cornell Engineering Debuts ‘This Is What A David Duffield Looks Like’ Shirt

    18 hours ago18 hours ago
  • Puffer Jacket in Heels Excited to Hit the Town

    21 hours ago21 hours ago
  • Everyone at Ithaca REI Dressed Like Employee

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Chuck Schumer Vows to Stand Up to Republicans Until It Time to Take Nap

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Minnesota Democrats Vow to Send Trump Sternly-Worded Edible Arrangement Next Time ICE Murders One of Their Constituents

    3 days ago3 days ago
  • College of Human Ecology to Remain Unnamed Despite Generous Donation from Adam Hitler ’73

    4 days ago4 days ago
  • Home
  • Schemes

Schemes

  • Student Assembly

Local Sicko Runs for Campus Villain Position

Nooz Staff2 years ago2 years ago02 mins

WILLARD STRAIGHT HALL—Cornell’s tumultuous school election season has mobilized many individuals to take on more active roles in their student government. For twisted, sick-in-the-head Henry Bateman ‘26, this held especially true.  “I think I’d be the kind of guy to bring massive change to this office,” stated Bateman. “Not a single one of the preceding…

Read More
You're never going to believe this but "This organization is a registered student organization of Cornell University." Newsmatic - News WordPress Theme 2026. Powered By BlazeThemes.