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March 20, 2026
  • Op-Ed: Oops! Not All That Depression was Seasonal
  • Lab Partner Swears “It Feels Better Without Gloves”
  • Op-Ed: My Candle Ritual Would Have Made My Situationship Like Me Back If the Fire Inspection Guys Hadn’t Confiscated It
  • Student at Palantir Event Offended By Implication They Support Palantir
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  • Op-Ed: Oops! Not All That Depression was Seasonal

    12 hours ago12 hours ago
  • Lab Partner Swears “It Feels Better Without Gloves”

    2 days ago2 days ago
  • Op-Ed: My Candle Ritual Would Have Made My Situationship Like Me Back If the Fire Inspection Guys Hadn’t Confiscated It

    3 days ago3 days ago
  • Student at Palantir Event Offended By Implication They Support Palantir

    3 days ago3 days ago
  • Short Ginger Friend Hides Box of Edibles at End of Rainbow

    5 days ago5 days ago
  • “It’s 6 O’clock Somewhere”: Upperclassman Begs to Not Pay Bus Fare

    6 days ago6 days ago
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Local Sicko Runs for Campus Villain Position

Nooz Staff2 years ago2 years ago02 mins

WILLARD STRAIGHT HALL—Cornell’s tumultuous school election season has mobilized many individuals to take on more active roles in their student government. For twisted, sick-in-the-head Henry Bateman ‘26, this held especially true.  “I think I’d be the kind of guy to bring massive change to this office,” stated Bateman. “Not a single one of the preceding…

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