Skip to content
October 14, 2025
  • Stampeding OurBus Herd Crushes Unsuspecting Subaru
  • Aww! Discussion Section Classmate Says First Words
  • Cornell Republicans Blame Radical Left for Shutdown of Morrison Dole Whip Machine
  • National Guard Numbers Dwindle as Troops Assimilated into Greater Portland Polycule
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
  • CU NoozMagazine | Spring 2025 Issue
Headlines
  • Stampeding OurBus Herd Crushes Unsuspecting Subaru

    4 days ago4 days ago
  • Aww! Discussion Section Classmate Says First Words

    5 days ago
  • Cornell Republicans Blame Radical Left for Shutdown of Morrison Dole Whip Machine

    1 week ago1 week ago
  • National Guard Numbers Dwindle as Troops Assimilated into Greater Portland Polycule

    1 week ago1 week ago
  • Flipped Classroom Professor Not Sure What’s Going On, Asks If You Have Any Idea

    1 week ago1 week ago
  • Senior Still in Model UN Working Towards Killer Common App Resume

    2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
  • Home
  • 2014
  • April
  • 23

April 23, 2014

  • Cornell

Cornell 8 Actually Real-World 6, Says Objective Judge of Beauty

Nooz Staff11 years ago11 years ago02 mins

Critical reports from fraternity brother Steve Alders revealed that the girl across the room at Dunbar’s is “an 8 for Cornell, but a 6 in the real world.” Alders, a clear and objective arbiter of beauty, further explained that the relative attractiveness of a woman was in fact, a geographically based phenomenon. The 20 year-old…

Read More
You're never going to believe this but "This organization is a registered student organization of Cornell University." Newsmatic - News WordPress Theme 2025. Powered By BlazeThemes.