Skip to content
February 25, 2026
  • A.D. White Professor-At-Large Finally Apprehended
  • Student Assembly Threatens Competence
  • “Unfortunately, We Had Many Qualified Candidates,” Sings A Capella Group At 2am Outside Your Window
  • Coefficient of Kinetic Friction Between You and Gray Slush Says Eat Shit Nerd
CU Nooz

CU Nooz

Random Nooz
  • About
  • Disclaimer
  • Write for Us
  • Advertising with CU Nooz
  • Podcasts
    • CU Interviooz
  • CU NoozMagazine | Spring 2025 Issue
Headlines
  • A.D. White Professor-At-Large Finally Apprehended

    2 hours ago2 hours ago
  • Student Assembly Threatens Competence

    1 day ago1 day ago
  • “Unfortunately, We Had Many Qualified Candidates,” Sings A Capella Group At 2am Outside Your Window

    6 days ago6 days ago
  • Coefficient of Kinetic Friction Between You and Gray Slush Says Eat Shit Nerd

    7 days ago7 days ago
  • Bing Chilling? February Break Spent Celebrating Chinese New Year In Auspicious Binghamton Getaway

    1 week ago1 week ago
  • “Close Enough” Match Pairs Hundreds of Proximity-Based Situationships

    2 weeks ago2 weeks ago
  • Home
  • 2014
  • May
  • 6

May 6, 2014

  • Uncategorized

Researchers say 4 out of 5 Researchers “Would Have Preferred Goldie’s for Lunch”

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago02 mins

ITHACA, NY — According to a new study at Cornell University, four out of five researchers would have preferred to go to Goldie’s for lunch. Steven Pratchett was the only one in the lab who wanted to go to Temple of Zeus. Citing Goldie’s closer location, delicious sandwiches, and its atmosphere, all the other scientists…

Read More
  • Uncategorized

BREAKING: Student Is “Very Busy,” “Tired”

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago03 mins

ITHACA, NY —  CU Nooz was first on the scene as Cornell student Maria Davis, ’16, bustled into Olin Library appearing stressed and disheveled. Reports indicate that Davis has a great deal of work to do this week. The amount of work that the Sophomore is grappling with must surely be a uniquely enormous case,…

Read More
You're never going to believe this but "This organization is a registered student organization of Cornell University." Newsmatic - News WordPress Theme 2026. Powered By BlazeThemes.