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September 24, 2025
  • Guy Looking to Blow $100,000 Can’t Decide Between H-1B Visa or One Year of Cornell Tuition
  • ExxonMobil Exec Promises Net-Zero Emissions By End of World
  • Collegetown Boba Cafe Opens Next to Collegetown Boba Cafe, Under Collegetown Boba Cafe
  • 18-Year-Old’s Passion for Synergy Really Comes Through in Club Application
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  • Guy Looking to Blow $100,000 Can’t Decide Between H-1B Visa or One Year of Cornell Tuition

    2 days ago
  • ExxonMobil Exec Promises Net-Zero Emissions By End of World

    5 days ago5 days ago
  • Collegetown Boba Cafe Opens Next to Collegetown Boba Cafe, Under Collegetown Boba Cafe

    6 days ago6 days ago
  • 18-Year-Old’s Passion for Synergy Really Comes Through in Club Application

    7 days ago7 days ago
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    Collegetown Housewarming Party Lukewarm at Best

    1 week ago1 week ago
  • Student in Suit Evaluates, Judges Slightly Younger Student in Suit

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May 6, 2014

  • Uncategorized

Researchers say 4 out of 5 Researchers “Would Have Preferred Goldie’s for Lunch”

Nooz Staff11 years ago11 years ago02 mins

ITHACA, NY — According to a new study at Cornell University, four out of five researchers would have preferred to go to Goldie’s for lunch. Steven Pratchett was the only one in the lab who wanted to go to Temple of Zeus. Citing Goldie’s closer location, delicious sandwiches, and its atmosphere, all the other scientists…

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  • Uncategorized

BREAKING: Student Is “Very Busy,” “Tired”

Nooz Staff11 years ago11 years ago03 mins

ITHACA, NY —  CU Nooz was first on the scene as Cornell student Maria Davis, ’16, bustled into Olin Library appearing stressed and disheveled. Reports indicate that Davis has a great deal of work to do this week. The amount of work that the Sophomore is grappling with must surely be a uniquely enormous case,…

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