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November 4, 2025
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    “Bacon, Egg, and Cheese”: Cuomo Seen Practicing Under His Breath Minutes Before Interview

    5 hours ago5 hours ago
  • Guy Still Wearing Cayuga Med Wristband Monday After Halloweekend Really Wants You to Ask What Happened

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  • Instant Ramen Instructions Detail How To Burn Noodles, Pull Fire Alarm, Act Confused

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May 6, 2014

  • Uncategorized

Researchers say 4 out of 5 Researchers “Would Have Preferred Goldie’s for Lunch”

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago02 mins

ITHACA, NY — According to a new study at Cornell University, four out of five researchers would have preferred to go to Goldie’s for lunch. Steven Pratchett was the only one in the lab who wanted to go to Temple of Zeus. Citing Goldie’s closer location, delicious sandwiches, and its atmosphere, all the other scientists…

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  • Uncategorized

BREAKING: Student Is “Very Busy,” “Tired”

Nooz Staff12 years ago12 years ago03 mins

ITHACA, NY —  CU Nooz was first on the scene as Cornell student Maria Davis, ’16, bustled into Olin Library appearing stressed and disheveled. Reports indicate that Davis has a great deal of work to do this week. The amount of work that the Sophomore is grappling with must surely be a uniquely enormous case,…

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