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December 18, 2025
  • Catch Me If You Can! CUPD Seen Sledding Down Slope in Pursuit of Evil Students Vandalizing Libe Slope with Evil Sleds
  • Angsty Student Body Clearly Has Study Period
  • Olin Elevator Dead at Level B
  • Partisan Gerrymandering Threatens to Remove 15 Seats from Uris Library
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  • Catch Me If You Can! CUPD Seen Sledding Down Slope in Pursuit of Evil Students Vandalizing Libe Slope with Evil Sleds

    5 days ago5 days ago
  • Angsty Student Body Clearly Has Study Period

    6 days ago6 days ago
  • Olin Elevator Dead at Level B

    1 week ago1 week ago
  • Partisan Gerrymandering Threatens to Remove 15 Seats from Uris Library

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November 27, 2023

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Friendless Loser? Student Seen Eating Alone in Dining Hall

Nooz Staff2 years ago2 years ago03 mins

WEST CAMPUS—No self-respecting student would ever dare to eat dinner alone, so all eyes were on Jaden Lewis ‘25 last night at Becker House as he appeared to finish his meal entirely by himself.  Patrons stared at the pathetic nobody in a mixture of pity and disgust as he filled his plate and slowly meandered…

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