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February 20, 2026
  • “Unfortunately, We Had Many Qualified Candidates,” Sings A Capella Group At 2am Outside Your Window
  • Coefficient of Kinetic Friction Between You and Gray Slush Says Eat Shit Nerd
  • Bing Chilling? February Break Spent Celebrating Chinese New Year In Auspicious Binghamton Getaway
  • “Close Enough” Match Pairs Hundreds of Proximity-Based Situationships
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November 27, 2023

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Friendless Loser? Student Seen Eating Alone in Dining Hall

Nooz Staff2 years ago2 years ago03 mins

WEST CAMPUS—No self-respecting student would ever dare to eat dinner alone, so all eyes were on Jaden Lewis ‘25 last night at Becker House as he appeared to finish his meal entirely by himself.  Patrons stared at the pathetic nobody in a mixture of pity and disgust as he filled his plate and slowly meandered…

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