DAY HALL—Weeks of strikes have culminated in a landmark agreement between Cornell University and the United Auto Workers Local 2300 that addresses dozens of the union’s demands, including higher wages, expanded benefits, and access to a popular carbonated soft drink.
While this new contract will no doubt improve the lives of the University’s employees, Cornell’s collective desire to Taste the Feeling™ is certainly troubling. Coca-Cola’s refreshing flavor may delight the taste buds, but it can also increase risk of type 2 diabetes by more than 20%.
Instead of sugary sodas, Cornell’s General Counsel Connor Ludlow recommends drinking eight glasses of water per day. “We believe it’s best to limit our employees’ access to COLA and keep them wanting more,” Mr. Ludlow explained. “For their own good.”
Scholars admit that COLA is a relatively unusual demand in contract negotiations. Collective bargaining expert Dr. Jill Haywood initially viewed the strike as an indication that the UAW was advocating for a contentious, big-ticket item such as a cost-of-living adjustment or expanded benefits. She appeared surprised to learn the true cause of the conflict.
“I’ve studied union strategy for decades. I’ve seen strikers killed while defending their right to livable wages and safe working conditions,” Dr. Haywood lamented. “A bottle of Coke costs two dollars.”
